Lifelong Friendships: Trust and Loyalty Since 1995

Cherishing Lifelong Friendships: The Bonds That Stand the Test of Time

In today's world, where people are often transactional and trust is hard to come by, is there anyone you can trust your whole life? I am fortunate to have such people in my life.

Since 1995, when I was in the 6th grade, I made friends with three of my seatmates: Michelle, Karren, and Hyacinth. However, in high school, we were assigned to different sections and separated. During this time, I bonded with a new set of friends: Denise, Kathy, and Joyce. High school was a time of close-knit friendships. We had our little gang that helped each other with forgotten assignments and unprepared exams. Later, we met Marineth and Vincent during group presentations, and we knew we would be friends for life.

Jenneelyn, Safania, Flornoel, and Shane joined us, and Michelle, Karren, Diana, and Charito also became part of the group from another section.

Bernardine cut ties when she left to study at another school, but our lasting friendship rekindled and continues to this day.

Many people have come and gone since high school, but many of them remain true and great friends. These are the friends you can share your darkest secrets with and even trust with your family if something were to happen to you.

These are the kinds of friends my mom taught me to find and surround myself with. How about you? Do you have any friends like them?

What traits for a friend you are looking for? 

How Would You React to Someone Who Chooses Not to Have Children?

 Choosing Child-Free: Our Personal Journey

For over a decade of marriage, Abbey and I have often faced the persistent question: "Mag-anak kayo kahit isa (Get a child — even one)." This question is usually followed by insinuations and assumptions. People have speculated if one of us is infertile. We've even had close relatives bluntly accuse us of being selfish for not having children. The judgment we face is relentless and painful.

When Abbey and I started dating, we never discussed having children. Unlike other couples who have names picked out and a magic number of kids planned, we simply enjoyed our time together without considering parenthood. It wasn't until our first month of marriage that Abbey broached the topic. To our immense relief, we discovered we both felt the same way: we didn’t want kids. Not because of any medical issues or external pressures, but simply because we didn't want to.

As time went on, we reflected more deeply on our decision to remain child-free and unearthed several profound reasons:

1. The Immense Responsibility: Bringing a child into the world is not a casual decision. It involves a lifelong commitment to teaching, feeding, and guiding them. Raising a good human being is a significant responsibility, one that Abbey and I do not feel prepared to undertake. We recognize the weight of this responsibility and have chosen to respect it by not having children.

2. Different Upbringing and Modern Challenges: I was raised in a different environment, and the behavior of children today often highlights a cultural shift that is difficult for us to navigate. The idea of raising a child in today's world, with its unique challenges and stresses, is daunting and overwhelming for us as a couple.

3. Financial Considerations: In today's world, raising children is significantly more expensive than in previous decades. The financial burden of providing for a child's education, healthcare, and general well-being is a commitment we are not prepared to make. Abbey and I are financially conscious and have chosen to allocate our resources differently.

Beyond these reasons, there is a personal aspect that is often overlooked by those who judge us. Abbey and I cherish our time together deeply. We thrive in each other’s company, and our days are filled with joy and fulfillment. The idea of adding a child into this mix, with all the responsibilities and sacrifices it entails, doesn't align with the life we envision for ourselves.

It's heartbreaking to be judged so harshly for our personal choice. People often fail to understand that our decision is not a reflection of our capability to love or our potential as parents. Instead, it's a conscious and thoughtful decision based on our values, our relationship, and our vision for our life together.

We do not discourage others from having children. We recognize and respect the joys and challenges of parenthood. However, for us, being child-free is the right choice. Abbey and I are living the life we desire, one filled with love, laughter, and mutual respect. 

We hope that one day, society will become more aware of the diverse paths people choose, leading to greater understanding and respect for all decisions, including our choice to be child-free.

Gift of Life: Blood Donation as Act of Gratitude

Let’s be real.. many people, like myself, fear needles and the sight of blood. This trypanophobia can be a significant barrier to donating. Others worry about the pain or potential side effects, such as fainting or feeling unwell afterwards or worst is their body may not produce enough blood for themselves. Some believe it can weaken them or cause long-term health issues. Others fear the risk of infection. 

With our age, we continuously challenging ourselves not only to benefit our own but to gain heaven points. Haha! If you reads the Bible in John 15:13

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." This verse highlights the ultimate expression of love and self-sacrifice, which can be seen as analogous to donating blood to save others' lives.

Blood represents life, and it is not only great but holy to give a part of yourself to someone in need. Donating blood is a heroic act that makes a significant difference in the lives of many.

This is the real reason why my husband and I donates blood. It provides a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from helping others and fosters a sense of community and love to others. We also used blood donations to show our gratefulness to ALMIGHTY for giving us the gift of life not only for us but also for lives of our family and friends. 

So, face your fears, and become a BLOOD HERO. Save heaven points too. 🙏🤗

#BeReal #RealTalk #Fear  #faceyourfears #BloodDonation #RedCrossSingapore  #punggol #healthyhabits #blood 

Spreading Smiles & Good Vibes: My Volunteering Journey with Team Nila

I first met a Team Nila volunteer when I deployed for Temasek’s Mask Distribution. She was so cheerful and energetic on answering questions and handing out masks. That same day, I signed up to volunteer with Team Nila. Yes! I want that vibe too! Wink-wink! 

Spreading Smiles & Good Vibes: My Volunteering Journey with Team Nila

My first assignment with Team Nila was at Hougang Swimming Complex. What did I do? I answered questions from the public and counted the visitors at the pool that day. Sound boring? Not at all! I had a great time chatting with the aunties and uncles there. I asked about their lives, why they chose to swim instead of taking a walk in the park, and how often they visit the complex. One aunty even invited me for coffee. Haha! It was so much fun connecting with them! I loved that moment and will never forget it!

After that, I took on different roles at different events. I have so much fun that I always have new stories to share with my husband when I get home after volunteering.

Team Nila - 2024 Appreciation Day

Then one day, Team Nila sent us a survey. While answering the questions, I felt a sense of comfort and peace of mind. My main reason for volunteering was to spend my spare time doing good, but I didn't realize how much it helped me mentally and emotionally. Volunteering is not just a pastime for me; it's a way for me to make friends and see life from others' perspectives. It's a way for me to grow as a person.

I always tell my friends that I'm at a point in my life where I'm saving "goodness points," and volunteering is my way of saving more! Whether it's brightening someone's day, putting a smile on their face, or simply making a new friend, every moment spent with Team Nila adds value to my life.

Thank you, Team Nila. You're not just helping the community; you're also helping your volunteers! Yo! Nila!

Team Nila - 2024 Bronze Awardee 

Beauty of Slowing Down in 2023

In 2023, we consciously embraced a slower pace, and here's why we recommend adopting it for 2024.

As a goal-oriented couple navigating the realms of career, finance, and business, setting annual targets had become second nature to us. However, this year, amidst the ebb and flow of life, we made a deliberate choice—to savor the moments, find joy, and simply be present.

The first quarter brought anticipation as we awaited news of my husband's career progression. Blessed with the announcement of his well-deserved promotion after two years of dedicated effort, we felt a sense of accomplishment.

Traversing the second to third quarter, we faced the poignant reality of loss—friends' parents, spouses, batchmates, and even siblings departed. These months became a period of collective grieving, prompting us to reevaluate commitments that could strain our health and limit quality time together.

As 2023 concludes, we reflect on the blessing of not having rigid goals. It's as if a premonition guided us to prioritize relationships with family, friends, and each other over career and business demands. The emotional journey through grief and fear has left us profoundly grateful for every moment we've shared.

Choosing to slow down and forego specific goals this year wasn't a flaw; rather, it allowed us to connect with our emotions and those around us. In the tapestry of life, embracing the present is not a sin but a gift to oneself.

Will you slow down on 2024?