It’s NOT okay that I am NOT okay! -- Succumbed in a Great Sadness (Part 1)

I am sad. Bakit? Hindi ko alam! 

I do not have time to talk to others. Why? Because there’s a voice inside na walang tigil akong sinasabihan na dapat akong maging malungkot, na wala akong karapatan maging masaya. 

It is a battle inside. And hanggang ngayon naalala ko ang pain. No! Actually it is not only pain. It is a sorrowful feeling of very deep loneliness na hindi ko alam saan nanggagaling. If you have felt heartbreak, that week of misery is worse than that. It felt like my ownself is tearing me apart. Pinupunit ang puso ko. 

I tried to reach out for help from my sister and sister-in-law and they gave me words of wisdom that made me realize better things pero the enemy inside of me is stronger. (D@mn! I am now in a bus writing this and I am crying silently). 

Kailan nangyari ito? That was 2017. The feelings still seems fresh everytime I am looking back. 

One week I never talked to my husband. I wake up, go to office, go home, eat dinner and sleep. I am cold as damn Antartica. I pity him. Kasi alam ko wala naman sya kasalanan pero nadadamay sya sa nangyayari sa akin. I know I make Abbey sad too pero that time wala akong pakialam sa nararamdaman nya. But he continues to cook for me, arrange my baon and waiting for me to come back.

I am grumpy too sa office kasi ayaw ko nga na may kakausap sa akin. Nakakatitig lang ako lagi sa monitor that time. My friends do not know about it. Ayaw ko nga kasi ng kausap. Talagang si Ate Sol and Ate Precy lang ang sinabihan ko nun. Isang tawag lang. Pero that call seems my enemy became more agitated and pushed me harder to the point na yung mga positive words and insights galing sa mga ate is now turning against me.

I do not have time to pray. The voice insisted I am not worthy to pray. Not worthy of anything good in this Earth and in Heaven.

All I know, one afternoon I decided to stop believing sa mga naririnig ko. That I need to go out of the cocoon of misery. That same day, I send SMS to Abbey for the first time after a week to pick me up from the office.

The best thing my husband did that time was to support me. He kept his silence, never asked questions. Nag-sorry and I thank him for all the understanding. 

Is that depression? I do not know. Basta isang araw nagising lang ako and I was succumbed in a great sadness..in darkness.. It is not okay that I am not okay. Kasi hindi lang sarili ko nasasaktan pati mga taong nakapaligid sa akin. 

TOPIC: SINGAPORE RACE IN FLATTENING THE CURVE | SP503 Storytelling Using Data

SP503 Storytelling Using Data was the last course released by Project SPARTA PH for Data Analyst Pathway. The course is consisted of 20 videos which you can finish in a day. Weeks 1 to 2 basically recaps what you have learned from previous courses, Week 3 is for how to build/parts of story and Week 4 teaches you how to deliver the story and the capstone. 

I spent almost 3 weeks to do the capstone. My topic is about, of course, COVID-19. People are clamouring for health and economic effects but Singapore is looking beyond and already doing measures to mitigate the impact. 

I know city governments of Philippines can learn on the steps taken by Singapore to answer this kind of issues during pandemic. And that is the reason why I chose my city, Caloocan, to be my imaginary audience during my storytelling presentation. 

I really do hope Caloocan officials will be moved and take action to study what Singapore is already implementing.

Tips on SPARTA’s SP601 Data-Driven Research Fundamentals

6.3.1 The Door-to-Door Caravan Sampling Problem is the capstone for the SPARTA’s SP601 and I am not proud to mention that I spent more than 2 months (yuletide season is my alibi haha) to finish the course and almost 3 weeks in capstone. 

After I finished all the lectures and the challenging quizzes, it’s time for capstone. My brain shut down after reading the instructions and seeing the downloaded dataset. I didn’t know where to start. Didn’t know what to do. Haha. But it is fine, just let your brain relax first before going to an all out war Naks! 

Why I am writing this? I do not want you to be like me, wasting time glaring at the ceiling while thinking how to slay the capstone. 

So let’s dive into it. 

1. Download the data. Read and re-read the instructions. The research paper should at least have the following parts: 
● Introduction 
    o Background 
    o Problem Statement 
    o Scope and Limitations 
● Literature Review 
    o Available Research on this 
    o Gap Analysis 
● Proposed Research Design 
    o Step by Step Research Design to Solve the Problem 
    o Proposed Data Analysis Methodologies 
         Quantitative 
         Qualitative 
● Implementation Plan 
● Bibliography 

2. Go back to your notes. What is the first lesson? Correct! First lesson is about PROBLEM STATEMENT. 
Do not be fooled by introduction or background. Skip it for now and focus on the problem statement. How to formulate it? Read again the dataset. There’s a guide question right? From there you map out a nice research questions for your to solve. From that too you can form your title too.. (wink-wink)    

3. Skip the scope and limitation.

4. Now let’s go on with the literature review. This is where the real grind starts. Haha. Inhale-exhale! Google your research questions, check-out Google scholars using keywords of the problem statement. 

Be a member of Academia. Do not forget what we have learned from week 2. 
    a. Identify the Research Topic You Want to Explore They should be flexible in their conceptualization of the research problem being investigated They should begin with broad idea and be prepared to narrow it down as they progress 
    b. Review the Sources to get an overview of that research topic 
    c. Develop a Search Strategy 
    d. Conduct the search and select specific articles to review 
    e. Obtain titles or full text references of journal articles or book 
    f. Read the artices and prepare bibliographic information and notes on each 
    g. Analyse the research findings and synthesise. 
Check out the integrity of the paper. Read, highlight and comprehend. From there you might see the light in the end of the tunnel. Haha.

5. While reading research you may ask your self that something is missing or further research can be done. Welcome that idea and include on the gap analysis. Remember to cite the papers properly to avoid plagiarism.

6. Go back to week 3 about research design. Here you can indicate the sampling, instruments and analysis method you will use. Where to get data? Data from Philippine Statistics Authority.

7. Implementation Plan. As the term implies, you can incorporate to answer all the capstone guide questions indicated on the downloadable data in this section. Explain how you implement the formula, your graphs or tables.

8. Bibliography. Include all the citations you’ve used.

9. Then we go back on areas we have skipped. Give a background; a summary for what people will learn from your research. Indicate the scope of your study and limitations.

10. And you’re done! Hope you enjoyed the process. ;) 

Do not stress yourself too much. If you have questions replay again lessons from Ms. Regine Tejada. 
This is my very first time to do a proper research paper. Wala kami nito sa panahon namin. (Napaghahalataan na ang edad haha). 

If I can do it. Kayo din. Okay? Good luck classmates.  
PS: if you have other tips, comment it to our comment section.