Fatal Red Flags In Your Relationship That You May Be Ignoring

Madaming nagtatanong sa akin kung paano ko nalaman na si Abbey na ang dapat kong pakasalan. Well, yan din ang tanong ko sa mga kapatid ko nuon nung bata pa ako. Paano nila nalaman na yun na ang dapat nilang pakasalan?
Kasi sabi nga nila ang pag-aasawa ay hindi parang kanin na kapag sinubo mo at nainitan ka eh pwede mong iluwa. Pag napasubo ka sa pag-aasawa eh kahit masunog pa ang buong bibig at lalamunan mo sa init eh hindi mo na pwedeng iluwa. Walang bawian. 

Imbes na isa-isahin ko ang good traits ni Abbey eh iisa-isahin ko ang "red flags" for you to check if it does exist in your relationship or sa mapapangasawa mo. In that you can check if you will really have a happy ever after or hell after the "I do".

1. Laging nag-aaway. Kung magbf/gf palang kayo eh para na kayong aso't-pusa eh paano pa kaya kung yung pagmumuka pa ng asawa mo ang una at huli mong makikita sa araw-araw? Sabi nga sa Bibliya "Lalong maigi ang tumahan sa ilang na lupain, kaysa makisama sa palatalo at magagaliting babae.". Anyway, sino ba ang gusto na may asawa na nagger at lalake na pasaway?

2. Show me yours and I will show you mine. Hmmm. Malaki-laking debate ito tungkol sa privacy or own space ng mag-asawa. 

Sa aking pananaw kung wala ka naman na lihim na alam mong ikagagalit ng bf/gf mo eh bakit mo kailangang magtago? Ngayong mga panahon na ito hindi na uso ang tignan mo ang tao sa mata para makita sila kung may tinatago sila sayo. Ang uso ngayon ay tignan mo ang messages sa cellphone at Facebook. Haha! 

Dapat ba alam ninyo ang password ng cellphone, email or social media sites ng isa't-isa? Sa aking pananaw oo. Wala nman mawawala sayo at magiging good shot ka pa sa partner mo dahil alam ninyo na wala kang tinatago. 

3. History "almost" always repeats itself. Kapag may history ng pagiging babaero/lalakero ang bf/gf mo eh malamang sa malamang eh magawa niya din yun sayo. 

4. Honesty is the best policy. Ang nagsasama ng tapat ay nagsasama ng maluwat. 

Kapag nagsabi sa'yo na wala siyang Friendster/Facebook tapos malaman mo na meron pala? Kapag malaman mo na 2 pala ang phone nya? Kapag nalaman mo na pag may lakad siya ang sabi niya barkada ang kasama niya yun pala lalake..isang lalake. Kapag nag-update siya na single/complicated relationship tapos kapag tinanong regarding dun ang sagot eh "wala lang" or "trip ko lang".

Ang ibig sabihin nun makati pa sa dilang makati yang kapareha mo. Haha. 

5. Eh kung ang bukang bibig niya lagi eh pangalan ng iba't-ibang lalake/babae? Big RED FLAG! 

"Sapagka't sa kasaganaan ng puso ay nagsasalita ang kaniyang bibig."

Biro mo kayo ang magkasama pero ang araw-araw na topic niya eh si ka-officemate nya. Ano yun? 

6. "Kami lang naman ang magsasama. Ano ang pakialam ng mga kamag-anak niya?" Hindi totoo yun mga kaibigan. Narinig niyo na ba ang Mother-in-law from hell or pakialamerang mga hipag at bayaw? Think-think-think. 

Or kapag makita mo na yung kapatid ng kasintahan mo eh nag-aaway-away at nagsisiraan eh matakot ka na. Isipin mong mabuti kung yan ba ang gusto mong pamilya na sasalihan. Buy one take all ang pag-aasawa. Wala kang itatapon ni isa sa kanila. 

7. Kaibigan o ka-ibigan. Kapag madalas niyang pinipili to spend time with friends rather than to be with you is a big BYE! 

Ngayon pa lang  mas gusto niyang kasama ang ibang tao kesa sa'yo paano pa kaya kayo kapag you were pronounced as one? Dito mo masasabi talaga na walang forever. Haha!

8. Aba! Kung minamaliit ka ng bf/gf mo... Aba! Aba! Aba! Talaga! Hindi mo kailangan ng isang tao na manlalait sayo ng habambuhay. Ang pag-aasawa ay pagtutulungan sa ikaka-asenso ninyong dalawa. 

9. Blame means "be lame." Kung ang ikukuwento ng partner mo ngayon ay wala ng ginawang tama ang mga ex nila eh mangamba ka. Malamang sa malamang eh hindi yan tumatanggap ng pagkakamali at ang feeling niyan eh siya ang bida na laging inaapi at ang lahat eh kontrabida na. 

10. Self-centered. Puro na lang siya. Puro na lang ang gusto niya ang masusunod. Hindi marunong magbigay para naman sa kapakanan mo. Ang relasyon ay give and take. Kapag "take it, take it" ang drama, iwan mo na. Kalaunan niyan magsusumbatan pa kayo. 

11. Paano kung inggitero/inggitera? Ok lang mainggit kung gagawa ka ng paraan paano mo yun makuha. Eh kung ang partner mo ngayon pader ang niyayakap imbes ikaw eh magising-gising ka. Hindi masama mangarap pero kapag inutusan ka ngayon pa lang na mag-sanla or mangutang ng patubuan para lang sa "wants" niya eh kabahan ka na.

12. Mismong gf/bf mo ang nagkakalat ng tsismis mo at ng pamilya mo? Nuff said! 

13. Ahmm teka! Kilala ka ba talaga nya? I mean totoong ikaw ba ang pinapakita mo? Kapag ikaw mismo ang nagiging chameleon to please your partner eh dapat sa zoo ka na tumira.. Haha! 

Maraming points na dapat ilagay sa list na ito. May idadagdag pa kayo? Comment below :) 

A Man is NOT a FINANCIAL PLAN

At Manila South Port, Export Division.
Kuya: Balita ko may nanliligaw sayo.
Me: Dati kong boyfriend, Kuya.
Kuya: Anong trabaho?
Me: Engineer.
Kuya: Walang pera yun. Ang daming customs broker bakit hindi yun? Yung kasama ko dito sa opisina interesado sayo.
Me: Ayaw ko sa broker. Babaero! Haha!

Conversation with in-law:
Ate: Flavor of the month ka na naman dito. Ang talino mo daw kasi malaki sahod ng pinakasalan mo.
Me: Haha!

In two above conversation, alin ang tingin ninyo na totoo? Sasabihin ko sa inyo, both of those ay totoo.

Sabi nga nila isang buwang sahod ng engineer eh isang lodgement lang ng import declaration naming mga broker. Allowance ng engineer for his monthly expenses eh isang gabing pang-inom lang ng accredited licensed customs broker. At talagang naputanayan ko yun sa first date namin. Kung ang mga ibang suitors ko nuon eh sa mamahaling restaurant ako dinadala, aba first date nmin ni Abbey McDonalds Trinoma. Pero do not get me wrong, hindi ko siya minaliit nun, natuwa pa nga ako kasi walang pretentions. First date, one point agad. :)

After ng around 6 months na ligawan, naging kami.

So nung mag-on na kami. Meet-the-parents and the whole family na ang arte. And I am so shocked ng kausapin ako ng mama nya. Sinabi ng mama nya "Alam ko may kaya kayo, maganda stado mo sa buhay. Kami anak mahirap lang kami". And sinasabi nya yun while tears flowing. Kung di ko rin daw seseryosohin ang anak nya eh hiwalayan ko na agad. Gusto ko sana sumagot na "Tita, ako po ang babae. Tsaka di po ako namamanhikan." Haha. Nakakatuwa kasi they are so transparent. Meet-the-fambam.. 2 points.

So dun na ako nagtatanong about his career plan. He deliberately answered me back na ayaw niya ng promotions because ayaw niya ng responsibility and walang katapusan na meetings. On 2008  I am already a supervisor. So I know how it feels to be on a higher ground.

He went to Singapore, we got married and little by little I instilled to his mind how good it is to be promoted. What are the pros to be managements' apple of the eyes and leading the team to what is good for the company.

Yang paliit-liit na salita na yan minsan napupunta sa pang-iirap. And lucky some of the books he have read taught him and backed me up of the idea. Heaven conspires and the right time came to Abbey.. Taas rango-taas sweldo.

Yes, I am that wise to choose Abbey to be my partner. Because I see in him the potentials well-hidden in a box of insecurities. I see in him his value that he never knew. I see how knowledgeable he is in managing people when he was described by the men and women around him.

Yung taga-Customs na nagsabi na wag si Abbey ay ginawa naming ninong sa kasal and on some kamustahan...
Kuy Ninong: Bilib ako sayo tahimik lang pero may napupundar na kayong mag-asawa.
Me: Kailangan po eh.
Kuya Ninong: Power Couple kayo iha!

Be the King and Queen of each other and together build your empire. Happy 4th Year Wedding Anniversary Baby!

Financially-Happily Ever After

Madaming tao nagtatanong sa akin ano ang tingin ko sa kanilang mga problema sa puso. Hindi as sakit ha kundi relasyon sa knilang mga boyfriend/girlfriend o mga asawa. Nuon ganun lang. Ngayon dahil malamang lahat ng kakilala ko ay may mga asawa na, hindi maiiwasan na tanungin din nila ako ng mga usapin tungkol sa budgeting nmin mag-asawa. 

Nung nag-share ako ng pasasalamat sa Financial Group 2nd Anniversary year-end party, yung iba nagulat nung sinabi ko na kanya-kanya kaming hawak ng pera ni Abbey. Hindi na yun bago sa mga talagang malalapit sa amin. Pero syempre yung mga kakakilala pa lang eh bukod sa gulat eh madami din tanong. Tulad ng... 
1. Paano mo malalaman kung sobra na ang pinapadala ng asawa mo sa pamilya nya
2. Paano mo malalaman kung anu-ano pinagkakagastusan ni mister. 
3. Baka mamaya may kalaguyo na yan. Ikaw din. 
4. Sino ang nagiipon para sa future ninyo? 
At kung anu-ano pa. 

But for me financially-happily ever after evolves in different values of human. Basahin mo ung mga susunod at magkaron ka ng check-list. 

TRUST
I trust Abbey's decisions how to spend his hard earned money. My father even told me way back before "Ang asawa mo nagiisip bago gumastos."  He even have an app to monitor his monthly expenses. 

"Nakapagpadala na tayo para kila papa.", monthly yan na maririnig ko sa asawa ko. Pag hindi nya nabanggit for 1st week ako na magtatanong kung naitransfer na nya na ba ung para sa kanila.Sa side ko? He knew it all. We only have one account in remittance center and it was named after him. So, every month when I am giving money for my dad and mom's monthly allowance he is always asking "Hindi mo dadagdagan?". 

Diba? Sarap ng mga ganyan klaseng tanungan? Kaysa sa "Nagbigay ka na naman sa pamilya mong batugan!". Haha! 

HONESTY
Maging tapat sa isa't-isa kung magkano ang pumapasok at magkano ang lumalabas. In that way, you and your spouse can both adjust. Baka kasi yung partner mo buong katawan at utak ay pagod na pagod na kakatrabaho para kumita ng pera, ikaw naman bili dun at kain dito ang inaatupag para lang may ma-ipost sa facebook. 

Alam ni Abbey ang sahod ko at ganun din ako sa sahod nya. Pero we do not get the habit na i-check ng i-check ang mga bank accounts ng isa't-isa. We know each other's passwords pero dahil nga walang dahilan para magsinungaling eh it is only a waste of time to see if the amount debited and payslip is totally the same. 

Na-save na ang oras ninyo wala ka pang sakit sa damdamin kakahinala. 

COMMUNICATION
Usap-usap din pag may time. Mali! Dapat laging magusap. 

Baka naman kaya hindi maaayos-ayos ang buhay ninyo kasi ayaw nyo upuan. Baka naman bubuka pa lang ang bibig ni mister para pagusapan ang gastusin eh nakasinghal ka na kaagad. 

Naalala ko ung housemate ng kaibigan ko dito sa Singapore nung tinanong niya ako about sa telenovela kung ano na ang nangyari. Sabi ko pasensya na di ako nanood ng mga drama. Ang point ko lang, imbes na ubusin niyo ang oras niyo pakikipagtitigan sa tv eh bakit hindi kayo mag-usap mag-asawa? At sana kapag mag-usap kayo eh magpakumbaba kung may mali man kayo at yung may tama naman ay wag maninigaw. 

Gawin nating lahat ng may pagmamahal. Alalahanin ninyo asawa ninyo ang kausap nyo hindi ninyo treasurer or sekretarya. 

HIYA
Mukha akong magastos pero kung kilala nyo ako eh sasabihin ninyo na "tsani" ako. Tulad ni Abbey bago ako bumili eh nagiisip ako ng madaming beses kung kailangan ko ba ang bagay na yun. Kung matipid ka hindi lang sa salita kundi sa gawa eh mahihiya ang partner mo na gumastos sa walang katuturan. 

Walanghiya din ako alam nyo ba yun? Si Abbey bago nagkaroon ng iPad/iMac madami akong tanong kung bakit nya kailangan. Makalipas ang 3 buwan pumayag ako at maraming kundisyon. Kailangan nya ma-100% ang exam nya at kailangan ay sa IT show namin bilhin para kung hindi man discounted eh madaming makuha na freebies. 

COMPATIBILITY
I am so blessed to have a husband which complements my goals in life. I am so blessed that I have my own cheerleader. Every time I lay a plan, he never tells a "no". He always tell na "I think this would be better."  

We both believe in investing and aiming for an early retirement. We are in the same page when it comes helping people in need and we learned to harden our heart when lazy people are asking for funds. Ayaw namin sana maging dahilan ng pag-aawayan ay pera. 

Dati tuwing magkukuwento ako gaano ako kaswerte sa asawa ko kasi mag-apat na taon na kami kasal eh wala pa talagang away na nagaganap sa amin; ngayon na-realize ko na may away na pala. Tinawagan ko siya sa trabaho nun at nanggigigil ko syang tinanong, "Nag-withdraw ako kanina, lumaki yung balance ng account ko. Dinagdagan mo na naman pera ko 'no?". 

Ang asawa ko nasa kabilang linya. Tumatawa. Ang cute-cute ko daw. Haha! 

We are both thankful to our parents who set good financial values in us. Kung nagkulang ang nanay at tatay mo sa pangangaral sayo about sa money management eh di pa huli ang lahat para matuto. 

Mas maigi ang magtanong kesa magmarunong. Kaya sana bago magpakasal eh mapag-usapan ninyo ang mga bagay na pinansyal. Makikita mo dun kung magiging asset ba ang magiging asawa mo or liability, magiging cheerleader mo ba sya o greatest critic, magiging masaya ka ba pagtapos ng kasal o kinabukasan pagtapos ninyong mag-"I DO" ay baon ka na sa utang. 

Isip-isip...

Tandaan, ang isa sa kadalasang dahilan ng paghihiwalay ng mga mag-aasawa eh pera. 

2014: On HIS Grace

Me: Why is your face like that?
Colleague: Because I am sad.
Me: Why are you sad?
Colleague: You know, sometimes you will wake up and feel unhappy.
Me: Why?
Colleague: Don't tell me it didn't happened to you before.
Me: It happens to me. But not a lot. And whenever it occurs, I asked my husband to sing. Oh! I'll call my husband, I will ask him to sing for you.

Then she smiled. And every time I see her she always tells me that she's happy and no need to call my hubby. Haha.

*******

This 2014 many hurdles were set on our way. We were tested financially, emotionally and our trust to ALMIGHTY.

Some were the events that can break me and my husband but we chose to cling more to each other and jumped together these hurdles.

--> This year my mother-in-law won her battle with cancer. No more pain, she's in the hands of the LORD.

You can see how wrecked he is inside. He still hopes for her to heal but all the medical facts shows the opposite. "Do you have any regrets that's why you can't let her go", I asked Abbey. He replied back "No". Then after that he woke up from reality that we need to accept the fact about Mama's case. Abbey flew back and forth to Manila to spend more time with Mama. We Skype-d, call and sms Mama everyday. We want her to feel how much we love her. We always asked her "Mama love mo kami? Hanggang saan? Proud ka ba sa amin?" She will answer back with a snobbish tone. Malamanng nakukulitan na yun sa amin. Haha! 

My mother-in-law proved how easy to deal with this infamous disease if you all give all your worries to HIM.

--> My father hit by a mild stroke and this made our family bond stronger. Every family member had done their part. My sister and Kuya Laleng gave their time to be with father while he is on ICU and Kuya Ric took care of the medical bill through the help of Philhealth. Me? I flew back home to clean my dad's 4-storey house. Haha! Mission accomplished.

--> ALMIGHTY's grace shone on us again when the lymphoma of my sister-in-law was detected in an early stage. HE again proved that HE owns the richness in this world. From first session up to the eighth, Ate Rizbeth's chemotherapy was finished. THE ALMIGHTY provided it with no hesitation.

Blessings poured to Ate Riz. From siblings, relatives, churchmates, friends, government organizations and even private companies helped financially. "Kahit kailan ang DIOS ko ay hindi nagkulang". 

Despite of her condition, Abbey and I got a good chance to spend with Ate Rizbeth and her family here in Singapore not only once but twice!!! :)

--> My grandmother passed away. I am happy. All sufferings were done and she left wonderful memories for me to reminisce.

The day that I went to visit her and she asked if she can have my earrings. When I handed the pair of gold to her she eyed for my ring. I refused to give it to her. Why? "Lola, wedding ring po namin ito ni Abbey." She looked to my husband and gave a hilarious laugh. Haha! Everytime I phoned Lola, she always say a simple "Salamat sa lahat. Buti ka pa di mo ako nalilimutan". (Shocks I wanna cry).

I do not regret anything as I know I have done and gave the best I could as her granddaughter. And I know she is proud of me and my husband.

Happiness is a choice as also your sadness. You can't totally avoid problems to come your way but you can choose the problem to be a blessing rather an obstacle.

Everything happens for a reason and I hope this post help you to see more light than darkness in every challenge we encountered.

Choose to be happy. 

Not a Very Good Liar

I would be a hypocrite to say if I will say that I never tell lies, ha, I am telling that I am not good at it. If you are one of my closest you will know the differences when I tell the truth and when I tell the untruth.

Here are some of the reasons why I do not want to tell a lie and you shouldn't too.

1. When I was a child, it was inculcated in my heart that telling a lie is a big sin. Well it was proved when I read it in the bible. (Ye are of your father the devil and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning and abode not in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar and the father of it.)

2. I lied about something and the product?.. Well another lie to conform the first fabrication. Very tiring. The truth will set you free, that's a proven fact. So when I grew up, its either you love me or you hate me because of transparency. This will explain why I only have few friends. Well, they are just the same like me. What you see is what you get.

3. When I say yes, it will be yes and no is no. I gain respect not only from the younger ones but from my father and mother.

4. Earning trust not only from family and friends but with my clients is big achievement for me. Lesser stress on their work when they are dealing with me. I am happy when they request for me to handle their shipments. Hey this is not only in Philippines but also clients here in Singapore.

5. I gain Abbey's heart. My job is a world full of men. In our 5 years of relationship he never went berserk caused by jealousy. Anytime he can use my phone, anytime he can go to my office unannounced and he is very confident in me.

This is a good trait that my parents passed to me and my siblings. We gain a good reputation in our place, achieved respect and trust. I am so thankful that they planted a seed on us, all things are more clear and the life is more easy to carry on.

I can see the people living in the darkness of lies, if only their parents be a good sample for them, maybe they are living an easier life today.

There's Always a Reason Why You Love Someone

You probably can't fathom why you love a person, why you always want him beside you despite of the differences and hurt that he had given you. Am I so foolish to say that if you love someone there should be a reason behind it?

I am on a flight to Manila, an hour delayed. Damn it!  Abbey and I were apart for one week. I succeeded to live but that 7 days, I know from my heart I am incomplete.

1. I stayed for half an hour and so to office, why? Nothing to do at home. I remember myself when I was a single, now I know why I work literally for whole day back then and just go back home for a shower.

2. Eating alone. Dining out alone is bearable, but i miss eating Filipino cuisine every night, which Abbey cooked for me.

3. Watching. I was doing this thing for 27 years... but when Abbey and I moved in, watching tv series and movies with my husband is better than hugging a bag of chips while laughing at comedy shows alone

4. Packed lunch is Abbey's forte. I miss it a lot, great thing my colleagues were there to buy food

for me at hawkers.

5. Nothing beats a strong arms around me while I am on sleep. Oh baby I miss the breathtaking hug.

6. As almost all the gals is saying, guys hate it when girls were on shopping. Abbey loves to go with me, walk around the mall and look for the thingy I am hunting for. The best part is, he pays for it. 

7. I was always showered by compliments by my husband but it will be more appreciated if it comes with a peck on my forehead  or a slap on my butt.. Haha.

8. Surprises! Oh darling! 

I really miss my guy. But being apart is a blessing, it made me realize what are things I should be thankful for.

MONSTERS UNITE

Yes! I am a monster.

I am a strict and all-must-know girlfriend. He do not have any privacy on me and I have the "I am the only right attitude". I nagged him, even our neighbors heard I am cursing him.

No-secrets policy. Before he does anything he must ask for my permission. If I cannot go to an event or place he should stay home too. I want phone calls before he sleeps and a ring before he could open his eyes from slumber. I want a date weekly, monthsary letters and surprises. I am super sensitive. 

I am not a touchy person, public display of affection is a big NO. I am not a pleaser. I want all my commands will be executed in a second. Everything should be done for me and only me.. I want to be his center of love and attention.. No other people must penetrate our space. 

...And I met Abbey, again. A self-made monster!.. A sensitive, "us" policy person, must know all, he wants all of my attention and time, loves surprises, missives are overflowing, respect is a must. He never went to a place or event without me, communication is compulsory, pleaser, fond of PDA, he wants to be always prioritized. A commander. 

Yes we are both monsters... monsters united in love.

Target Achieved

This May was really a mind-blowing month for me and my hubby.

When 2013 stepped up on our lives, I told my husband that on this year we must focus more on our careers and money matters. Last two years of our marriage, we promised to enjoy and spend time with each other's company. We traveled, explore different kinds of foods and attended events, and this year we agreed to focus on our jobs and investments.

I really thought that it will take us a year to achieve our career target, but only 5 months, Almighty One blessed and granted the desires of our heart. Abbey was promoted as team lead in UBS, I am so happy, I know he deserved it...I am envy of him, while I received a salary increment and Abbey is so envious of that. Haha!

In investments, Abbey now religiously buying shares of his choice, while I am still torn between two companies to complete my "Power of Five" firms. I received dividends and Abbey may received his second on last week of June. Another investment is now materializing, we are expecting that to be finished before October. :)

Our hopes were blessed. I am so lucky to have Abbey.... to have him on my side while placing each piece of our puzzle for our target retirement age.

Thanks to our employers and colleagues who believed on us. Thanks to the community that keeps us informed, well educated and updated. And most specially, gratitude to our family & friends for continuous prayers and support on our plans.

Let's Count the Blessings!

I am 30 and I know it. I am old, yeah I admit it and I am happy. Since January 2013, I keep on thinking what achievements that I had done with the past 3 decades. So here are some to summarize..

Family: My parents, nobody can replace them in my heart. They're the best parents for me; they know how to spoil and how to teach me a lesson. They know what makes me happy and what makes me really mad. My father taught me the importance of inner scorecard, to choose friends wisely and how to be frugal in money. My mom is always there for me. I know I got her style in dressing and the thinking that wife must not be totally dependent to their husbands on finances. She also taught us how important to own your own house and lot.

            My siblings are the best! Even they want to choke me to death because of brat attitude, they are always there to be my guide and be my models. We grew up in different generations and believe in different religions but in relation to our different manners, we understand each other.

            In-Laws: Abbey came from a well-intact and very sweet family. I am so thankful to be part of their growing family. So thankful to have a very kind and very sweet new set of parents and siblings.

            Friends: They proved to all of the people that are around us that they are not after my money. Ha! Hey!, they are richer than me. :) Truly, my set of friends is a gem to cherish. It seems that we knew each other since birth. Love you all! 

Education: I am an ordinary student constantly in Section 1, until I came to the point to see what subject I will excel, and that is Physics... The subject that almost everyone hates. For the first time, I joined a quiz bee and won the first price. I garnered the Best in Science Award & Mercury Drug Awardee. In college, I took up the Bachelor of Science in Customs Administrations for 3 1/2 years. With tears, I passed the board exam with an average of 81%.

Career: At the age of 26, I became the supervisor of a certain company, went to Malaysia, China, Indonesia, Vietnam and Cambodia for procuring. Be known in the Bureau of Customs. The latest is that here in Singapore, after sending my particulars at 3PM, 5PM on the same day the Ministry approved my application. Now I am working happily with in my current company for more than a year, with great boss, great colleagues and very cooperative clients.

Finances: As my usual when I am working back in Philippines, 50% is directly going to my other account as my savings. Now it is not 50%, now I can save for 80% of my earnings, (achievement indeed). Now you know why I want all to be free, haha!  Me and my husband have some investments also, getting ready and wishing for an early retirement.

Love Life: When I am counting my blessings, I count Abbey twice. Actually, I do not need to explicate why. Every person me and my husband knew always told me that I am lucky to have Abbey. Always replying them, "I am not lucky, I am BLESSED."

In past 30 years, I had gone many trials; some told me that it is a failure but for me that is only a lesson to ponder and to get ready for another challenge for me to succeed. 

Prayers is my only armor for the future and I am hoping that we can use all the lessons of the past to jump over the hurdle of trials.

Influenced Not Controlled

I don't need to explain anything about my choice who to be with after my parents met Abraham. No words can define how good my man is. He never changed his nice qualities and altered some for better. Isn't it good?

My family and specially my mom is totally happy on my transformation. They are telling that my attitude really was modified. They say, now I learned how to express my feelings. Maybe! Haha!

I think Abbey and I influenced each other... a lot! When there's differences we are taking a deep breath then lay it on our center for us to solve it. Every decision, every move; in everything we both decide. We influenced each other but not controlled.

Thank you baby for very peaceful years with you.

7 out of 10 Marital Break Ups Are Caused By Money Problems

Yes, you read it right 7 out of 10 couples breakup is due to money. So, are you one of those who broke their vows? Are you just a couple for better and not for worse? Well, this is not limited to legally married, boyfrien-girlfriend relationship is not exempted with these.

A lot of girls jumping out once they saw a wealthier man that they can be with. Now love is not so important unlike the last decades, how much someone is earning is more valuable in finding a partner now. The common term for this is "practicality".

Couple finances is a big issue as of today. Who will handle one's money, who will do the budgeting and how much they will help to each other's family. Me and my hubby never talked about this before tying the knot. Unspoken words is better than setting many rules.

Me and husband have different accounts, we handle our own salaries. We shares our blessings with our own pockets. But everything we do regarding money was placed before the scrutiny of each before we do the dealings.

As I can say, the key thing here is communication. Let your partner know how much you both earn, how much you spend. Transparency will never be a hindrance for a clearer future as husband and wife.

Make or Break

Social networks will either make or break you. The primary vision of this sites is to you unite and connect each people we want to, but some of us abused the functions of those.


I heard a lot of story how a long lost people saw and talk each other again, many people got their love story through facebook and many news and discoveries were read due to daily updates on their walls. But all those good things have an opposite and dark side of this facebook. Many people's heart was broken up, many studies was failed, many friends separated their ways, families on angst, many identity theft was done, many lies, and so on.

There are few times that I want to delete my account, why?,  all I see on people's update are their rants about their siblings, parents, studies, job and most specially about their relationship to opposite sex. Even the TV patrol and 24 Oras pages were unliked due to almost every hour updating about negative things in Philippines.

Several times I asked my husband but he opposed the idea of deleting the account, this is the easiest way to connect and have the fresh updates from our siblings and families and to propagate what happening in our blogs. So the solution we took was to unchecked all the news feeds that coming from unnecessary people in our accounts.

I hope many people will use networking sites correctly. Think hard before posting guys. ;)

Blessed To Have An Options

Luck? No! I am blessed... So blessed to have an outstanding parents, a very hardworking mom and dad.

To tell all my readers, I have three siblings and they were given each a lumber store to manage. Well I am thankful for that family business that was from my grandparents, from there we grew up and exposed in managing people and money but as the saying goes, mother knows best, and here I am, stressing all my effort to work for a company that I didn't own. In short, they don't gave me a store to manage. Haha. It's okay, doing business is not my forte. :)

So yes, I work for different companies, yes all the success and yes, all difficulties from it was seen by my parents. They knew how I tried my limits up to the extent that I can be jailed from it. Haha.

So when I went here in Singapore, as I told to my last post, I had culture-shock and tried for months to cope up, but my grip on the happenings is not enough, and when I knew that I am totally burned out, I called my parents, tears flowing non-stop and all I can say was "Can i resign?"; they answered, calmed as ever, "You can. Go back here. Rest. Still we have a living to support you." When I am breaking up to my firm stand. my parents are always there to catch me. Now,  I am married, the Almighty added another person to take care of me. That time when Abbey entered our room, saw me talking with my parents and clearing all the tears, he just looked at me with soft eyes and before I hang up the phone, he asked me to hand it over and  talked with my mom and dad. He wrapped his arms around me tight and say, "We can live here even you don't have a work. Print a resignation letter. Take your time to rest. It is okay for me if you do or do not have a job. I will do everything to provide all your needs." After hearing that, water flows again on cheeks and I felt the security from my ever loving husband.

I am really blessed to have an options, work or not to work, but after 4 months staying at home, I felt so idle, so dumb and then when offer came last December, I immediately grabbed with Abbey's approval.

Prayed to have kind boss and easy-to-get-along colleagues. Answered prayer. Another experience to ponder. Truly blessed, my life... my career, my love and my family.

Let's Talk About "EX"

Worst comes to worst, if we need to separate our ways and end our marriage do you think we still can be friends? Abbey blurted immediately "YES"..

As what I say to my post, I am not used to burning bridges, and my boyfriends and ex-fiance is not exception to that. I keep my line open to them and even to their new linking, until..

I cannot get it, why the new girls wants me to explain why I ended up my relationship to their boys. This occurred to me twice. The first one, the girl phoned me and asking anything about her boy, she is quite nice to me and I am too to her. How she got my number, that I don't have an idea. This time, its quite amusing, miles away then she reached me through messenger, yahoo ID popped in and all along I thought that was ex-fiance but a wrong choice of words were done and caught her up.

I really cannot understand why this lady keep on asking why me and her boy ended a 10 year relationship. Is there any enough reason that can suffice all the mingling thought she have in her mind. Even hurtful sentences were slammed to me, all I replied to her is... "Just believe all the things told to you by your partner regarding to our past.". But queries still keep on coming, then all I can do is bid goodbye and end that conversation.

Well, for me, she should be thankful enough for the things that happened to me and her boy and by this, she have him as her own. Me, I am thankful for all the past of my husband.

Past really makes you stronger and you will learn a lot from it. If you just accept all the misdoings done.

Unless... the heart is still dwelling in that past and not ready to move on...

I Lost My Center

Silence of suffering thumping my head, every movement is a misery. A meter walk path seems one mile, each steps gave a buzzing headache and gigantic dizziness.

It was my first ladies night out at Clarke Quay and and I literally drunk all cocktail that I can, I think I have more than 7 servings. I drunk a lot because it seems that concoction do not have enough alcohol to persuade my center, but I am wrong. As I walked my way out from Aquanova, dizziness dawned on. Alcohol targeted my balance and nothing I can do but to clung and trust my husband's arm.

In MRT, there, I totally lost my composure and throw up. Mint candy didn't help. Luckily, I have this plastic bag where even myself can be fitted in. Since it almost midnight, few people is in the train, I threw up but no one seems to see me, no one seems to care. I am pretty wasted.

Alighting at MRT and the 3 minutes walk to our flat seems forever.  My husband attempted to carry me but I insisted to walk my way to our building. In our sanctuary, I threw up again and passed out. Then my brain shut down.

I woke with new shirt, my make up was removed and plenty of mints in my bag. Shyness was all I felt towards Abbey and vowed to myself that would be the last intoxication in my life.

At work, I hurriedly rang Abbey's handphone every now then asking for forgiveness. Even he got to his office, conscience bugging me and I want to cover the anxiety that I felt for myself.  He asked me to stop and he told me that everything was fine. Nothing changed. But I know, that was really a big turn-off.

When I got home from the worst day ever I had in my career(not due to stress but from hangover), I saw the flowers and a note on our table. Very touching and sincere. I am the worst and most wasted girl I can ever think of that night, but my huband's missive lifted me up. His letter says if it will happen again, we will take a cab rather than a train. Haha! Ooops, he even cooked pork nilaga for me. :)

Sorry, this will not happen again. Right hand up!

3 Days of Blindness

What a wonderful world!, isn't? But how will someone say this phrase if they are blind. Black all around. I was moved by this article of Helen Keller  first published last ---. Helen made a list a of the things she wants to do if she'll be given a sense of sight in three days. Reading that, I am quite shocked, there are so many things that I am taking for granted. Actually almost everything around me was not appreciated.

I know, these eyes is a vital part of human being but If Almighty will take out my eyes, what will I do in three days. Just thinking, my gosh, all negative thoughts rushing down in me. But I need to look on a brighter side.

Okay, on the first day, I will wake up 7am and stay at my room, I will embrace the full hour of silence. Then I will ask my husband to come near me and I will try to memorize his face features, I will try to communicate with him and ask him all questions I can ask and memorize the ups and downs of his voice. I will try to determine if he is happy, sad, sincere through the words and voice that will left his mouth, that will last until noon and my whole afternoon, I will ask my niece and nephews to gather around at my parents place and all I want to do is hear all their voices. All the shouts of joy of the kids and laughter's of reminiscing. We will take dinner and savor all the aroma of the foods. I will eat all the food I can take and slowly chew every bit of it. In evening I will ask my husband to play some Mozart music and ask him to teach me how to find my boxes of teas and how to prepare it for myself.

Second day, I will ask my friends to bring me to a beach, I will sunbathe. I want to feel the morning rays of the sun and  hear the sounds of gushing waves. After lunch I nap just outside a cottage. Why outside? I want to feel the summer breeze. Around dawn I want me and my friends help me to stroll along the shore, I want to feel the hotness of every grains of the sand on my feet. On dinner I will ask them to build a bonfire and have a dinner and sip some red wine. I will spend all my time to listen to their stories and I will just move mouth to speak once they ask me. Haha.

On my 3rd day, I want to be one with nature, I want to go to a park and want to conquer my fear to lizards. Eeeeeee! I want to inhale fresh oxygen from the plants. My afternoon to my last hour of darkness, I want to be with my husbands arm. I want to listen to the Words from Bible.

As I made a thought for that idea, who says darkness is sadness? Now, I will start to appreciate more on the things around me before the unseen comes. Why? everything I can see here in earth is temporal and the unseen is yet to come and eternal.

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:18

What are you looking for?

How will you define happiness for yourself? How will you know if you really like something and it will suffice all your needs.


In life, many people are so sad because they are telling to themselves how unfortunate they are having such miserable life. They are always coming up and compare what they do not have to what others have.


As I always say to my friends, "you can't have it all". So why drowning yourself in a shadow of enviousness? Maybe you can't have it because the Almighty sees that you cannot be a good man if HE will give that things to you.


Stop comparing, work harder for what you want and be contented of what you have for now. Or you can do what I had done. You choose, give up one thing and ask for something you really dear to have. Then pray hard with all your heart and explicate. You might not get it as soon as you want or you might not get it at all. But at least you tried. Sacrifice one, then win one. As they say there three answers in a prayer... Yes, not now, and HE have a better idea.

But be careful what you wish for. There is no space for regrets. :)

Red Red Roses

Yes, I do not believe in Valentines' day. Why? I just don't want to. And why I accept flowers and chocolates from Abbey? Because he have his own beliefs and I respect him for that and in return he respects mine too.

Well, Abbey never fails to give me a bouquet of flowers or chocolates every February. Maybe this his way how to show off. Haha! Papansin lng sa akin. Joke! I appreciate the effort and the idea. Actually kinikilig pa din ako everytime he do surprises for me. :)

This year, he gave me 20 red roses and delivered by Angel Florists. They say this bouquet was called Pictures of Love. Hmmmm, this is Abbey's 2nd time to book for a delivery with them? Is it discounted? Hehe.

Thanks Abbey! Keep up the good work Angel Florists. Oh, send my regards to the one who delivered this flowers, he is so sweet and greets everyone in the office a happy hearts day. :)

Nice move Abbey, nauungusan mo na ako sa surprises. Arghhh! 

Deceiving ... Conceiving ...

Lahat ng makakakita sa akin eh nagsasabi na I have a better body now. My hips and butts became bigger omg, even my breasts. Lately I get dizzy almost everyday. As in two weeks akong hilo and on the verge to throw up everytime I move. 

And on that nausea that I felt, umabsent na ako and went for a check-up, doctor found out that I had a low blood pressure. Gave me some pills but the dizziness still continues to bother me. 

Oh, this is my first time to have a menstration that i just bleed up for only a day. And then I remembered my friend, she have this kind of situation tapos buntis pala sya. 

Then my husband excitedly bought this clearblue pregnancy test. And when he saw the result, sabi nya bibili pa daw sya. I don't know, pero I am not ready to bear a child, I am not ready for a great responsibility. Maybe not this day, maybe not this year. Anyway isa pa din ako sa mapalad, somehow. :) 

Lucas 23:29 Sapagka't narito, darating ang mga araw, na kanilang sasabihin, Mapapalad ang mga baog, at ang mga tiyang kailan ma'y hindi nangagdalang-tao, at ang mga dibdib na kailan man ay hindi nangagpapasuso.